Fear.

June 29, 2024

Dear God,

Thank you for the love you show me everyday. Thank you for the blessings you sent my way but most importantly, thank you for your patience with me. 

This past month, I have been struggling with FEAR. God, you are calling me to do such big things but I stop. I stop and ask, “Why me? How? Am I enough?” I let fear win everyday. 

Lord, fear consumes my entire body and causes me to freeze. My ears begin to ring and I feel like I am watching myself outside of my body. I whisper to myself, “Jazzael, move, go. Do something girl!” And nothing happens. I am scared. I am nervous and I allow fear to win another day. I wake up each morning and think fear nearly stops me from walking out the purpose you chose for me. I want to love you God, love your people and follow Jesus but my thoughts over power my actions, again.

God, you knew my purpose before I did and I almost walked away from an opportunity to serve and grow your kingdom. Wow. I am so glad I chose a different mindset this morning. Here I am. I am here. I am enough because I HAVE YOU! Why is that so easy to forget?! I laugh knowing you are looking at me nodding saying, “I have always been here, you just tried doing life alone, again.” You forgive me and we take on the day together! You and I got more done in the last two days than the past month. I wrote down in the notebook next to me, “You can do this with God. You can do hard things!!!” Why do I forget to call on you? Why is it so easy to get lost in our thoughts instead of seeking your light? I am glad I have you to lean on. 

Hey fear, you can sit back now. God and I have this. We do.

Here we go. Together we will walk into the purpose and tasks you have for me. When I get consumed in my overwhelming thoughts, Lord, I will do better in keeping my eyes on you. 

In Jesus’ Name I pray. 🩵Amen. 

Love,

🩵Jazzael